Recovery
by invisibleninja448
Summary: Troye posted his coming out video and gets a lot of hate... The comments get to him and he starts believing them.


Troye's POV I sat there tears streaming down my face as I read all the hate comments I was getting on my coming out video I just posted.

_ "Ew ugly fag get off the internet!" _

_"I fucking knew he was a fag look at him"_

_ "Go kill yourself faggot"_

I knew that if I kept reading it would only hurt more but I didn't care, I just kept scrolling through all the hate.

_"I hope you cut your fat ugly wrists you ugly pice of shit"_

_ "I hope he sees that everyone hates him and cuts his disgusting gay wrists_"

_"I'm so sorry Troye I used to love your videos but i'm disgusted that I was watching a gays videos. Ill be waiting for you to change your ways and decide to like girls but until you do Ill have to unsubscribe. Just remember Troye being gay is a choice and if you choose to be gay you are disgusting and you should die"_

The last one sent me over the edge, and I started sobbing being gay is not a choice if I could like girls and be normal and not disgusting I would. I kept looking through the comments only specific words standing out.

_"Fat" _

"Ugly"

"Kill yourself"

Suddenly the idea of killing myself sounded really good. I got up and walked to the bathroom, I picked up my razor and was and was about to pop the blade out when there was a knock on the door.

"Troye hurry up I really have to pee and Sage is getting ready in the other bathroom" My little brother Tyde yelled through the door.

"One sec!"

I quickly popped the blade out of the razor and put it in my pocket then flushed the toilet to cover up what I was doing and opened the immediately pushed past me and closed the door. I walked back to my room and sat on my bed.

I pulled the blade out of my pocket and twirled it in my hand. I jumped when I heard my computer go off, I realized it was skype and muted my computer ignoring the call.

I placed the blade on my wrist and was about to press down when my phone rang.

I declined the call and pressed the blade down breaking the surface of the skin.

My phone dinged with 3 messages and started to ring again. I put the blade down and picked up my phone seeing that all messages and both calls were from Tyler.

_"Why did you decline my call?"_

_"Are you okay?"_

_ "Call me when you see this"_

I read Tyler's messages and decided that it was best to call him, he picked up on the first ring.

"Troye are you okay? I saw your newest video and all the hate. Why were you ignoring me?" Tyler said the second he answered.

"I'm fine I wasn't ignoring you"

"Yes you were and your not fine i can hear it in your voice" Tyler said knowingly.

"I'm fine Tyler really I promise" I lied

"Why were you ignoring me then?"

_"I was trying to kill myself because i'm fat ugly and worthless"_ I thought "I was helping Tyde with homework"I said trying to sound convincing.

"Ok" Tyler said skeptically "But if something was wrong you know you can tell me right?"

"Yeah I know" I said and in that moment I realized that if I killed myself Tyler would know I lied to him and I know that he would be disappointed in me for lying.

"I gotta go Tilly" I said abruptly.

"Ok… bye Troye" Tyler said hanging up.

I picked up my blade again and decided even though I wasn't going to kill myself I could still cut so I walked to my mirror and lifted my shirt. I stared at my hideous fat stomach and slid the blade over it.

_"Fat"_

One cut

_"Ugly"_

Two cuts

_"Fag"_

Three cuts

_ "Liar"_

Four cuts

_ "Stupid" _

Five cuts

_"Fuck up"_

Six cuts

I pulled off my shirt and grabbed some gauze from under my bed. I wrapped the gauze around the cuts on my stomach and remembered when I used to wrap it around the cuts on my ankles that I used to make when I was 13.

Tears streamed down my face when I remembered promising my mom I would never cut again. I sank down to the floor and banged my head on the wall repeatedly.

"Troye dinner!" My dad called up the stairs. "One minute!" I yelled back hoping I didn't sound like I was crying.

I pulled on a black shirt and a couple bracelets some of my fans made me to cover the cut on my wrist. I walked downstairs to dinner and hoped my cuts wouldn't bleed through my shirt and my family wouldn't notice I was depressed.


End file.
